Am i so difficult to be understood?

Update

haha, i'm updating once more!!!! after half a year... wonder who would visit my blog.

feel so empty inside...

need to find some motivation to study....my fire is dying after just 3 weeks...

realised i prefer to shut myself out from the world but at the same time longing for someone to be by my side.

i know my friends are waiting in line to be that person but at the same time, it's in my blood to keep everything to myself.

know that my friends would drop me encouragements, but what i really need is a place for an outlet and this blog is doing this job currently.

guess this entry seems incoherent, but it only shows the state my my mind.

i did mention before the jin hin everyone knew is dead i think, and i think he's still dead. will try hard to make the best of what's left in this useless body, so don't start scolding me or lecturing me!

i wanna say "sorry" to all my friends. i'm not making the effort i ought to to reach out to you guys. i even remembered ivan's birthday wrongly and still owe him a parcel. but know that i always remember all of you and all the things you've done for me and the times we've spent together.

now in nus, i'm always with ben, juliana and swee kun. sometimes i wonder why i'm not with jun rong or zzyo instead. i guess one of the many reasons is that i know the 3 of them in uni, so they dunno abt my past. in a way, memories can be kept away. i guess it's only right that jun rong and zzyo feel unhappy with me. i'm blessed with friends who do not blame me or show any unhappiness about me.

anyway, everytime i'm out with any of you guys, i'm really sorry if at times i dampen the mood or anything. i'm a quiet person to begin with! =P

tutorials, textbooks, webcast waiting for me but my mind is filled with something else...

i guess i've just proven what a failure i am.

Money Money Money

money can't do everything, but without money, you can't do anything.

money is sometimes the source of disagreement and conflict, and it can become quite nasty.

so i'm gonna try and earn as much as i can. hopefully i'll be able to stop all the unhappiness that arise from money...

For you, I would do anything.
But there are things, especially those deep inside me,
That I can't change.

The sun longs to provide warmth to the land.
Even in the middle of the night,
The sun still waits...
Even if the land is covered with the blanket of clouds,
The sun never stop burning.

As Jackie Paper left one grey night,
Puff, the mighty dragon, ceased his fearless roar,
And slipped sadly into his cave.

distractions

haha, it seems like nothing can distract me any more....

not books...

not computer...

not xbox 360...

only way is sleep, but seems like sleeps do not come easy now.

i'm one of the dogs barking at the new moon,
whistling a new tune,
hoping it will come soon...

Update!

now the nurse said no need special dressing for my wound le, just waiting for it to dry up.

1 more week to exams and i have lost all motivation to study. can't get myself to study too. haha, just don't feel like doing anything...